Why Traumatic Memories Make You Feel “Stuck”: How to Work with Them
You’re so proud of who you’ve become and how much healing work you’ve done. That is - until you get triggered and you’re launched into the past.
In this memory, you feel scared, anxious and have no access to the coping skills you’ve worked so hard for.
It’s almost like you’re a little kid again, ugh.
It might be hard to feel like you’ve grown and healed when these trauma loops rear their ugly heads.
Why does this keep coming up?
Here’s a little neuroscience with hope.
The memory that takes the wind out of our sail is known as a closed trauma loop.
A what?
You see, normal memories are archived and integrated sequentially so it becomes part of the time-line of who we are (see my photo below):
What happens with an overwhelming traumatic memory is that it doesn’t get “integrated” or blended into our here and now time-line.
It’s a closed limbic loop where the present doesn’t get weaved in.
That’s why it feels out of place and as if we haven’t “grown up” because it’s a snapshot in time.
Our resources, coping and logical thinking are out of touch.
Below is how a traumatic memory remains a closed loop:
So how do we work with these trauma loops?
One of the most important things you can do is to become aware of how trauma loops show up.
It’s at first recognizing that we are in one: they are generally highly emotional in nature, immersed with negative thinking.
Another indication is that you may struggle to access ANY coping skill - even if they are well practiced.
When they are present, remember that orientation to the here and now is crucial: “I am here, I am safe, this can pass.”
Any other grounding techniques such as deep breathing, mindfulness or movement can help you move through the loop, rather than becoming fully immersed.
One thing that I help my clients to do is to work with the “trauma loops” in a unique way - by introducing a new component into the memory (this isn’t something that I would recommend for everyone and it’s best done with a skilled practitioner).
By introducing a new component into the memory of their choice, they begin to “integrate” the closed loop into present:
Some “new components” of a memory that my clients have added:
A large purple monster to help them fight against bullies in a trauma loop
Their favorite superhero to protect them
A friend to help them as a young child during a traumatic event
Recognizing that they fought off their attacker instead of being a “victim”
Lastly, it’s important to know when working with these trauma loops is that they aren’t indicative of who we are in the here and now - courageous, well resourced survivors.