3 Years Ago, I Experienced a Trauma and Here’s What I Did to Heal Myself
3 Years ago, I was attacked by a pitbull. The owner unfortunately was drug impaired and wasn't able to retrieve her dog, so my dogs and I were attacked violently for what seemed like hours as she stood catatonic. I had to go to the hospital because of the bites, hurt my back from repeatedly "throwing" an 80-90 pound pitbull off my dogs and developed flashbacks of the event.
This was a terrible event that shouldn't have happened, but it was an incredible learning experience for me as a PTSD physician and researcher.
I got an intimate glance at my survival mechanisms and flashbacks, a common feature in PTSD.
The night of the attack, my blood pressure (I'm normally hypotensive) shot up to 160/100. I also was unable to sleep, and when I closed my eyes I would experience flashbacks of the pitbull running towards us.
I struggled to sleep a few weeks after the incident and had trouble relaxing.
A few weeks after, I had an increased startle response to ALL dogs, not just pitbulls (this is considered generalization of triggers). Walking my dogs I was hyper vigilant and on edge.
I experienced enhanced aggression the weeks following (completely normal with higher noradrenaline/adrenaline).
I "avoided" the place where we were attacked (this is common in many PTSD survivors).
What I experienced were common features that those with PTSD experience. It usually consists of re-experiencing an event (flashbacks, nightmares), avoidance (I don't really agree with that term but I'll go with it for now) and a constant sense of threat (hyper vigilance, increased startle response).
But here's what I did to ensure that it didn't turn into PTSD:
Within a week, I scheduled an emergency counseling appointment with my therapist for her to do EMDR. I saw her more frequently the weeks after.
I leaned on my social supports, talked to them and cried as much as I needed to. I had friends drive me to the hospital and having them was a comfort.
I went to get body work - acupuncture, massage and chiropractic since I was struggling with a LOT of tension and pain. I knew that I needed more support to help me shut off my fight or flight response than what I could do on my own.
I kept NORMALIZING my symptoms - this is a body and brain that is in fight or flight and it's okay for me to be angry/aggressive/defensive.
I took melatonin and supplements to help me relax.
The weeks after, I kept re-exposing myself to dogs and used breathwork/relaxing my body during my exposures. I made sure that I could handle re-exposures, without having a trauma response that I couldn't physically handle (overwhelm).
Here's what I didn't do:
Pretend that it didn't happen or force myself try to get over it.
Tell myself to "relax." Relaxing is an experience of the physical body that is a release of muscular tension, and not experienced through verbal cues. This is why massage and bodywork is important.
Found a powerful meaning to the event. I used this as an event to help myself learn and understand the trauma response, as well as navigate the uncomfortable symptoms.
I'm very lucky to have known exactly how to care for myself after a traumatic event, and I'm hoping that this blog will help you to normalize the trauma response symptoms and get help if needed. I consider PTSD as largely a memory and physiology issue, which can be helped with integrative tools and a comprehensive approach.
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